Being a caregiver often forces you to put your needs behind everyone else's. Not because you're some fucking hero but simply because your brain cannot compute any other information outside of the mountain of dates/numbers/medicines/doctors that your loved one has.
In this super woke world, we talk about self care Sundays and treat yourself because you work hard. When you're taking care of a loved one, all that preaching goes out the fucking window.
My self esteem has taken a hit and usually that's fixed by my self care routine. Nails. Hair. Wax. Massage. It's what I DO. And yes I know self care can take a lot of forms and not all of them involve capitalism but mine does. With my mom being ill I haven't made space to practice self care while Im in NY and ya girl is feeling homely AF. I have a few appointments set up to handle that but what really rocked me was feeling so low at a time where nothing should be about me because it's all about my moms recovery. SELFLESSNESS, right?
No one told me I would feel so low about my mom being ill AND about my own self esteem. In fact when it hit me on the train today, I started crying even more because I felt guilty. Like bish you really feeling down because you're due for a haircut meanwhile your mom is in a rehab facility?
Well correcto, this bish felt that.
So I'm here to tell you, if you can, make space for yourself. Buy the face mask. Go the therapy appointment. Apply the lipstick. Sage the house. Soak in the bath. Whatever helps you feel like you (safely for you and others), do that. JM.
