If I'm keeping it a buck, I'm anxious about going back to work. It will have been 6 weeks since I was in the office.
I'm nervous about being behind. I'm nervous about how I'm going to react when people ask me how my mom is doing.
It's an unavoidable question. It's a question that comes from a place of concern. It's a question that when asked might cause me to breakdown.
Even moreso, I'm nervous that I won't be able to say "she's doing much better, thanks!" That I'll have to say "she's still sick, thanks for asking". Nervous that the moment I say those words I'll burst into a hot mess. Nervous that I'll be in a meeting and see a text or call and immediately freak out.
Nervous that I can't go back. Nervous that everything I've worked so hard for hangs in the balance.
Lo qué eh pa ti eh pa ti. I can hear mamis voice now.
She's right. JM.
